Week One - Response to Pauline's "Cat Breath"

Again, I'm having trouble figuring out the comment thing, so this will be posted to Pauline's blog as soon as I can. But, this is in response to "Cat's Breath."

I have to agree with Brandy, here. While the language sounds pretty cool, you may get a little bogged down by the harsh, jabbing sounds of these words one after another. I think I would expect something that “reeks of rotting chicken hearts and liver” to sound, as this poem does, very intense, jarring, consonant-heavy. What if you do, as we did for this week’s callisthenic, a list of linguistic playing and then tried to work it in to softer sounds--then see which works better? Clearly, you have the ability to punch out language so, a worthwhile exercise may be to let the words glide together while conversely representing a pungent, grotesque smell? The juxtaposition may be more unique. I don’t mean to say that that copy will trump this one but, rather, it may open you up to more if there is less focus on sounding harsh.